The ‘Dream Team’ - what if?

Every student should have a “dream team”, adults and peers that they can count on for guidance, support, fun, and the proverbial mirror.  Most students probably feel, or know, that they have that and they may even know how to use it. But for children with disabilities or learning differences they may not know who, what, or how to use their “dream team”. For a student with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) or any student with an IEP, their dream team is automatically built in as part of their IEP. However most students don’t know that till they are older and many may not know how to use it. Additionally the schools may not view themselves as the “dream team” of support for the student. What if we started students in middle school to think of ‘their’ team as ‘THEIR’ team? What if we clued the team into what we are doing so that we created a cohesive group of adults and maybe peers that understand ASD (& other learning differences), the individual student, the family, and the community? What if that team met regularly to discuss, anticipate, and plan for events in this student’s school career? I think the “What if” needs to become a ‘when’ - and a plan.

In a graduate class my class discussed the idea of insider and outsider status. Insider status is being part of a social network. “The notion that social networks provide important buffers against stress and depression has become a truism of psychology. Simply put, friends and other helpful individuals such as therapists and caring teachers serve as important sources of validation, empathy, and reflection, as problem solvers, coaches and models of new behaviors.” (Baker & Welkowitz p.177) Having a dream team can facilitate change, friendship, and a social network. This will, perhaps, transform a student’s school and life experience. First we need to start with the IEP team, an already established ‘dream team”.  The IEP teams I work with are highly dedicated and knowledgeable individuals ranging from special educators, speech pathologist, occupational therapists,  school counselors, para-professionals, administrators, teachers and parents. But are we a high performing team that practices, runs through plays, knows our strengths and weaknesses? I think this is an area where we could use some work.

First we need to think of ourselves as a “dream team” and categorize what that means. We need the team to look beyond the academic needs of the student, we need to look at the knowledge base of the staff, we need to look at the class structure both for academic structure and peer mix, we may even need to look at the class and provide more education on the acceptance of differences. When these things are in place we need to meet on a regular basis and continually shape our plan. Regular meetings would allow for flexibility to meet the needs of the student and the teachers who may be experiencing their own difficulties in relating and teaching the student. Meetings not only provide an opportunity to review the progress of the student, they provide an opening to discuss the “roadblocks to promoting new social behaviors and plan for the ‘next step’ in their program.” (Baker & Welkowitz p.176)

As a student in our class stated “there are other people out there and they are not just annoyances”. One of our team ‘roadblocks’ may be in understanding the  student – from the  student’s perspective.  Peers may “just be annoyances” to them. How do we change that? By introducing them to the inside and building up their knowledge base of peers. Connecting kids with groups gives social network and social community. Exposure to this ‘inside’ will be slow going but should be initiated and not ignored. Working with a students interests (gaming, math, animal facts) can be the foundation to building and creating an ‘insider’ perspective. Members of the dream team will be the coaching, cheering, and interpreting for the ASD/learning difference student at the same time they may need to be ‘promoting’ their player. For example telling the other students “Sammy Student knows a lot about animals, why don’t you ask him?” these interventions will help facilitate interactions that will build on the insider knowledge and eventually help the ASD/learning difference student gain ‘insider status”.

Dream teams are essential for the ASD student. Building on what is already in place, the IEP team, and creating a more open dialog around the student’s strengths and weaknesses and the team’s strengths and weaknesses will create a stronger more knowledgeable team. With that strength the team can then focus on the game plan for introducing a student to the ‘inside’ world of social networking, promote the student and explore the ‘game’ of the social world. I look forward to developing my ‘dream teams’ and ‘promoting’ the students I work with.

Got Feelings?

Of course you do!  But are you able to identify, manage, and recognize your feelings as well as the feelings of others? And if you say yes, which I hope you do, are you teaching and modeling these skills for your children?  It's very important that they learn to acknowledge and accept all of their feelings and understand the situations or events that triggered those feelings.

Why is it important to know your feelings?  Because accurately identifying your feelings  allows you to better work through them.  Self-awareness is a life skill that allows us to accurately asses our feelings, interests, strengths, and values; it leads to self-confidence.  That’s  a very powerful attribute for children and adults. 

I frequently work with kids who aren’t able to distinguish between frustration, anxiety,  jealousy, or irritation, to name a few.  Big feelings are often channeled directly into anger.  Anger is reactive, and can let off steam,  but not productive in solving or resolving the situations that caused the feeling.  Channeling an emotion into a reaction like anger does not provide understanding, control, or growth also known as self-management.  We all want control, to be in charge of ourselves and to learn from our experiences.  

Knowledge (self- awareness) = self-confidence 
Control (self-management) =overcoming obstacles, perseverance, and "grit"

When a child can identify they are jealous, sad, disappointed, nervous, insecure, and other difficult emotions, they have the power to communicate those strong feelings and discuss with either their parents or teacher.  The adults  then have an opportunity to help the child work through the situation, problem solve, and ultimately gain the skills to work through the situation.  This builds understanding, compassion, and perspective taking.  We want our children to build a good sense of self and strong understanding of others and how we fit in within the community of family, friends, and classmates.

Empower your child to identify and understand their feelings.  It is a vibrant, exciting, and colorful world!